The 10 Best Ways to Break Your iPod
Breaking Your iPod is Easy!
WARNING: Past performance breaking iPods, does not guarantee future results.
So you want to break your iPod? Hey, I love my iPod, but every once in a while, I can’t help it. I just have to break my iPod. Over the past few years, I have enjoyed tremendous success breaking my iPod. Here are what I have found to be the 10 best ways to break your iPod.
The Toilet - Who doesn’t want to rock out to Milli Vanilli while taking a dump? No I don’t use my iPod as a substitute for toilet paper, but unfortunately iPod’s don’t rest very well on your leg. Nor do they balance very well on the toilet tank, stay in your hoodie pocket, or stay in your hand. Splash! Looks like we got a floater. Oh wait. That’s not my iPod.
Gluteous Maximus - Ever since I got rid of my Costanza wallet, I have been trying to compensate for my loss by putting other objects in my back pocket, like my iPod. My favorite places to sit on my iPod? Anywhere there is an extra hard surface kitchen chairs, bar stools, park benches, etc. Not that you can’t break your iPod by sitting on it while it is on the couch, but if your going to break your iPod you might as well do it with force.
Road Rage - It’s been a long day. Your boss hates you. Your girlfriend just screamed at you because you forgot her birthday. Now someone just cut you off. Sound familiar? Sadly, it happens to us all. For me nothing soothes my nerves more than taking out my traffic induced aggression on my iPod. It’s so handy, so convienent, and beats the heck out of slamming my fist or head against the dashboard.
It’s What’s For Dinner - I don’t eat TV dinner’s out of necessity, I do so out of choice. I happen to love the taste of the hearty Hungry Man XXL. Sometimes the XXL, isn’t enough to fill me up though. That’s when I opt to leave my iPod in the microwave. Mmmmmm…..salisbury steaks topped with melted iPod. A meal only Emerald could appreciate. Bang!
Cleaning Hazard - Sometimes my iPod gets sooo dirty, I have to give it a bath. Now since i never bothered to hook up the dishwasher in my new house, I usually give my iPod a scrubbin’ after I wash the dishes, because washing the dishes is boring without the music in my iPod. Well this one time, my iPod was having a little too much fun during his bath and ignored my instruction to stay away from the edge. He ended up in the garbage disposal. No biggie, except it happened to be running. Hey, do iPod’s make good compost?
Brrr… - It get’s mighty cold up here during the winter months. Heck, it gets so cold that if we get a one day “heat-wave” (40 degrees) people drive around in convertibles…with the top down. For some reason, just like old people people who live in Florida, iPod’s hate the cold. So it probably isn’t best idea to leave the your iPod in your car, when it is - 20 degrees outside. Oops! I left the windows open a bit too. Frost bitten iPod? Cracked screen? Dead Battery? Your just lucky we didn’t have to amputate!
The Break-Up - No, I am not talking about parting ways with your iPod, I am talking about when your significant other tells you to take a hike. Break-ups are always tough times. They are tough on your heart, mind, soul, walls, and your iPod. I don’t think Apple was planning to make the perfect projectile to launch at your wall during a domestic…but thanks!
Not Pictured
Hey everyone wants their picture online. Unfortunately these iPod’s were absent on picture day.
- Doggy Treat - Nothing like washing down your homework with your tasty iPod.
- Vehicular Manslaughter - Everyone likes monster trucks, except you drive a Prius and that isn’t a car you just ran over.
- Xtreme Tragedy - Extreme sports are fun, until you crash. Hard. Good thing you had that iPod in your pocket to break your fall.
Top 10 Ways to Break your Ipod
Top 10 Ways to Break your Ipod posted at IndianPad.com
[…] as we found out, there are many ways to break your iPod. Luckily for all of us though, there are a number of caring individuals who have dedicated their […]